Quick Recap: Ronnie's a jerk, the guys are ignoring it and the women are trying to tell Sammi without pissing off her OR her sleazebag pseudo-boyfriend. Good luck with that!
1:45 - J Woww talking to herself while adjusting her boobs is pretty sweet.
2:30 - Gay pride week in Miami! No surprise, the guys are nowhere to be seen.
4:00 - "Gay guys aren't attracted to vagina. They're attracted to ***" They have to bleep out "musical theater" on MTV?
5:00 - I love it when MTV plays the power ballad chords to generate drama. It's directing!
7:00 - The Situation had a scheduled hookup that is now leading to a 3s Company, um, situation. But the guys finally score, which seems surprising that's it happens in episode 5. Not surprising is that Mike doesn't know the names.
12:00 - Angelina apparently still doesn't have a cell phone. And clearly he's out of line for wanting her to do her share of dishes.
12:30 - It's kind of surreal to see any of the cast actually walking to/from anywhere that doesn't sell booze.
14:30 - A touching moment as Mike apologizes for yelling at Angelina for not doing dishes. If the end of Beaches was a 9 on the emotional scale, this was a solid 7.5.
16:30 - Snooki informs us that there's a process to breaking up with a guy. She doesn't specify if a series of angry, drunken phone calls is part of the process.
17:30 - I don't want to sound like an intellectual snob, but I don't think that "sympathetic" is word-of-the-day material.
20:00 - How do they have a quiet night in and STILL manage to oversleep?
21:00 - So, if you find a note, isn't your first guess at the author's identity the people that aren't there that day?
24:10 - Actually, Ron, people in the house have big fingers, and very small mouths.
25:15 - "And then I saw the word 'wisely', and I knew it wasn't Snooki -- she don't use words like that." Yeah, "wisely". That's some big-time vocabulary.
27:30 - Angelina might have post-Jersey Shore opportunities, but the World Series of Poker is not one of them.
29:30 - Wow. Sammi finally is somewhat sympathetic. Ronnie, of course, promptly hoists himself onto the cross he carries around just for this purpose.
31:30 - I'm not saying that Snooki and J Woww are bad liars, but not even the Church Commission would believe their BS.
34:45 - "Do whatever you want to do, but I'm not getting involved." Except, you know, except for writing the note.
35:30 - "If they end up back together, she looks like the dumbest bitch." Well, obviously that's going to happen.
37:15 - "You either want this, or you don't. You either want this, or you don't. I need to know." I am going to try this in my next bad relationship.
39:00 - Nice cross-marketing with Ron asking for "the full Varsity Blues outfit" from his FTF back home.
So, they're done. Again. Sammi has realized that he's a sleazebag, and she's dumping him. For now. In case you can't detect my skepticism, it's there. Overall, I'd give the episode a
C-
Some decent drama, but not enough hilarity. Though the complete and utter cluelessness of everyone involved was fun. On the bright side, next week we might have a 3-way catfight with Jenni, Angelina and Sammi. Wrowwwwrw!
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