Jersey Shore Live Blogging: Season 2.4

Recap of the series so far: Each episode starts with the gang getting drunk, going out, and Ronnie convincing his girlfriend/ex to leave the club. Ronnie then does an excellent impression of a coked-up douchebag, making out with random club rats, then comes home to get in bed and profess his love to Sammi. The next day, they reaffirm their love while the castmates wonder if this sort of tawdry behavior is reflecting badly on them. Also, Angelina is a drunk bitch, Snooki is a sloppy drunk (surprise!) and J-Woww shows off her breasts at every opportunity. The other 3 guys, now calling themselves MVP, manage to not convert celebrity and an MTV film crew into lovin'*.

1:50 - So, did you know that if you get your period in a white outfit, it's ruined? You can thank Snooki and J-Woww for this breaking news. So I guess they did make it through middle school.

2:30 - "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." Crap. I can't believe my dissertation topic was just announced to the world on MTV. Now I'm never going to get my doctorate in Women's Studies. But props to Emilio for a Costanza-esque break-up. Flame on!

3:30 - When you ask, "DO you think my boyfriend is fing with me?" and you get silence, that is a YES.

4:00 - "It's a big ball of ****edness" I think the MTV writers just coined "fuckedness". I like it.

6:00 - This is pretty smooth. Snooki and J-Woww are trying to set up Angelina to be the one to squeal on Ronnie.

7:00 - This is an Inception-level mindbender! Did Emilio cheat on Snooki or was he joking? I think this will go down in pop history with "The Sixth Sense" and "Memento". Or not.

8:30 - "If you call here again, I will call the cops or get on a plane and kick your a..." Naturally, Emilio thinks this is a voice mail message.

11:15 - "I don't like tests. That's why I didn't go to college." I'm sure that's the only reason there, champ.

13:30 - I have to admit, seeing the girls eating edamame and sushi is a bit jarring. In Season 1 they would've laughed at the concept. I think they ordered the Jump The Shark Roll.

15:30 - Apparently the cast does not have a "no shirt, no shoes, no sunday dinner" policy. I can understand if you're eating outside, but eating dinner inside around the table and you don't put on a shirt?

17:00 - The girls put on sexy dresses to play "Questions"? That doesn't seem odd at all. I'm sure the questions will in no way lead to Sammi to discovering that Ronnie has a burning sensation when he pees**.

20:15 - Our first GTL session! And, no surprise, Ronnie opts for some boxing.

22:00 - The heliocentric solar system. Relativity. Threesomes. All genius ideas. Also on the list? Typing an anonymous letter to Sammi. Because in a house with 8 people, she'll never figure it out!

23:00 - Our second mirror-cam boob adjustment of the episode! That ties the record set by "A Connie Chung Christmas"!

27:00 - "It's over. And I'm ok with it." I'm betting against both of those.

29:00 - "I hate you so much. Because I love you." I'm pretty sure this is going to be quoted in the inevitable assault trial.

31:30 - Coming up after the break -- typing!

34:15 - "I don't girls studying for finals. I want girls studying for [beep]." Why can't you have both? The gelato store scenes are the only bright spot of the episode.

37:00 - I gotta say, this whole episode is dragging. Badly. Just cut to the chase and tell her. Or go get drunk and be funny. One or the other.

This episode was wasted trying to build tension for the coming revelation to Sammi. Meh. In Simpsons terminology, this was a Lisa episode. Final Evaluation?

D

* This seems sketchy, to say the least.
** I'm just assuming on the details.