1:45 - It's José's birthday! Guess what Angelina got him? Not sex, of course. Well not sex with him.
4:00 - "Angelina, she's my friend, but I don't trust her." Maybe "friend" means something different in Italian-American.
6:00 - "Unfortunately, I was really tired, plus it was that time of the month for me... I'm the woman, I decide when to have sex. No birthday sex for José." She couldn't even throw us a "no way, José"?
8:00 - Angelina lies and claims she gave up the birthday sex. This clearly won't backfire.
12:30 - The girls get ready for JWoww's man to visit by getting $200 nail work. Good lord.
13:30 - So, if you trust your girlfriend, what do you do while waiting for her to change: a) check her address book b) pitch a fit and accuse her of cheating c) walk out or d) all of the above?
16:00 - It's weird to see the craziest cast member showing actual affection for her boyfriend. It's not weird for this to be followed by her picking his nose, then trying to feed it to him. I shit you fing not.
18:00 - Angelina cries when talks to her mom, and mom's explanation? "Are the dresses too tight for her?" So, she's worried about her weight, huh?
19:00 - I'm singing "It's t-shirt tiiiiimmmmeee!" when I get ready tonight.
21:00 - Snooki is beset by, and I quote, "grenades, grundles, chodes." It's a fair assessment, actually.
23:00 - A "Canadian model" is apparently so desperate for pseudo-celebrity, TV time, and/or nookie that she not only agrees to try to bang The Situation in the club bathroom but she also agreed to put her face on TV. Niiiiice.
25:00 - Is Snooki drunk or just cock-blocking by grabbing the feet of her mid-hookup roommates and saying "love you!"? I'm going with "both".
27:00 - Watching Angelina whine about the nasty house and her lazy roommates while she studiously avoids cleaning is MONEY.
32:00 - Vinnie and Pauly ignore Angelina and her friend at the beach while The Situation ... practices flexing at home? Classy.
39:00 - This episode has been entirely too sober. There needs to be a 3-drink minimum for the cast at all times.
41:00 - "Don't listen to him. I didn't sleep with two guys in one day! ... I'm a single girl." Angelina is the new Rick James!
Next week looks much better -- Situation vs Angelina, Snooki vs Angelina, Angelina's last shreds of dignity vs Angelina -- winners, all!
This was a pretty meh episode. Just Angelina being a bitchy skank and lots of whining. I would've thought the cast trying to work would be more interesting, but apparently not. Tom-JWoww faded into nothing, and there was nothing to replace it. Verdict?
D+
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